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Archive for the ‘Stories’ Category

The Adventures of the Little Hair Man

In Stories on January 13, 2009 at 6:50 am

THE STORY OF THE LITTLE HAIR MAN

Trumpeting since swans took my pancakes, I came into my own Zeus like forever. Candlesticks mangled the stink; this heart brews a cat. Likely darling in a boat—vibes, sphinx, waffles, naturally. Afterwards, unmistakable lesions lent monks some cheerleaders for Christmas: donkey-kong through every difficult juicer. Call left-handed Batman a screwball, let several pampered perpetual tin crayfish telescope Alaska-lodged toward my throat. Think of normal dish-towels.

THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF THE LITTLE HAIR MAN

Nabbing nobs of newt-constituent bubblegum, he threw up-linked sausage to the carburetor of the president’s angelic Fresca. He had hidden the hair in the main duct of every outmoded varnish boxcar. Crepe-paper was for ladling perpendicular tits. Crinoline became tar, beavers became gars, next. Foreshadowing nothing the cardboard graph evaporated. And a lummox.

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Watching Sleestaks Garrote Prawns: The Twittering Machine

In Bob Folder, Stories on January 13, 2009 at 6:41 am

oregon

I. Lobster ad lobster

Aqua Thinktank and I are repurposing delphinium in a stranger’s bed.
Taking my lobster, O. Ron Dismount, for a walk in the Palais Royal. Then, grabbing one with cheese. *wink*
Bats are like mice that freak out over mounds. This according to a study published today in Nature by my associate, Ergo Pippette.
Attempting to hire a chauffeur with at least basic familiarity with Baluchistani car rental agencies. Impossible!
Aqua Thinktank just told me technology has boners for eyes. He showed me a high-impact plastic case which containing two regular human eyes.
Containers contain contents. Incontinence tints pants. Flippancy flips pantsuits into soups of various sorts.
Developing a newspaper one-half of one inch wide and 32 feet long.
My blanket is seven feet wide and eight inches long.
My bicycle has one giant wheel and one tiny wheel.
My mammoth car has a tiny chain-link steering wheel.
My mortadella spoke. Comforting gibberish.
Lobster fighting with NFL players. Cruel? Not if you win all the time like O. Ron Dismount.
Do my fingers smell weird?

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