Presidential Rumours


Barack Obama

  1. Has a child by Ione Skye
  2. Has a substantial collection of Nerf guns
  3. As a young man, founded Slade fan club
  4. In law school, drank one bottle of sloe gin every day for two weeks for a bet; hospitalized
  5. Wife once won skeet shooting medal
  6. Is part Oneida Indian
  7. High school English teacher was Kyra Sedgwick’s mother
  8. Is champion-level horseman
  9. Deathly allergic to sesame seeds
  10. Collects antique glass photo negatives


John McCain

  1. Was a registered Democrat prior to the Vietnam War
  2. Roommates at prep were gay couple still together today; one was set designer for “Mary Tyler Moore Show” and “Rhoda”
  3. Daughter dated Jay Z
  4. Has planted one cedar in Coronado National Forest for every year spent in confinement
  5. Owns every model of iPod released so far
  6. Survived a four-story fall onto the floor of the Pepsi Center
  7. Right arm is twice as strong as his left arm
  8. Holds pentathalon record for Naval Academy
  9. Great-grandfather was part of the Amana Colonies
  10. Can throw a beer bottle over 6o feet

Why I’m Voting for Obama

obama obey

If I hear one more truss-wearing boomer media cretin slobber on about what a huge difference Obama’s race makes in an election that has yet to happen, I’m going to hunt him down and beat him to death with his own fucking lava lamp. I can’t count the number of times in the last month that I’ve actually heard a reporter (or what passes for one) ask a hapless, and usually baffled, would-be voter, “Do you think America is ready for a black president?”

The goal in asking this idiotic and bell-bottomed question is clearly twofold.

On one hand, it’s to create drama where there isn’t any. These folks seem to have come of age during a time when having a bong hit with a “black dude” turned you into a hip moral giant named “Not My Parents.” They can’t quite come to grips with the fact that there are people their age, like my parents, who never had the chemically-assisted self-awareness and family-funded leisure time necessary to congratulate themselves for sitting next to a black person without panicking. People like my father were helped to get over the very racism the boomers told each other they were fighting (well, you know, metaphorically speaking) by the tender ministrations of the US Military, in fruitful conjunction with the Vietnamese, who condescended to shoot at black and white both, with a refreshing lack of discrimination.

And of course there are those of us who came along much later and grew up together and so never hit on the idea that our lack of discomfort was a virtue when we, first, played together and, later, felt each other up and, in some cases, subsequently married each other. Neither of these two groups, see, and they are far more numerous, if less represented in the traditional media than the other group, make decisions, either pro or con based on race.

So, my point is, there are an awful lot of people, especially (though not exclusively) those my age and younger (and anymore, my age is no longer really young) who are going to vote for Obama, myself included, and the overwhelming majority of these people are not going to do so because he’s black. I mean, you know, good for him, that he is and everything? But we just didn’t get around to thinking about it until after we thought of things like, “Is this guy going to screw us to the fucking wall on another mid-life crisis of a war?” and “Is this guy smart enough to figure out the difference between the gross national product and the gross domestic product and if so, is he going to be able to do anything about either of them?” and “Is this guy going to nail some chick half his age on the desk in the Oval Office and make us all look like tools again?” and “Is this guy un-stupid enough to use the word ‘blog’ without following it with ‘pajamas’ thinking he’s going to get a big laugh and a knowing nod?”

We ask these questions, instead of “is America ready for a black president?” not because we’re moral giants. It’s because it never occurred to us to waste our vote on proving we’re broad-minded. That’s what fucking bumper stickers are for.

And guess what? There is also going to be a huge group of people who vote for others besides Obama, not because “the country isn’t ready for a black president,” but because they don’t think Obama can do what Clinton or McCain can do. (And a little “as if” I think would be salutary at this point.)

So, come on, you bunch of myopic temporally-compromised geezers. Both those of you whose salad days took place to the embarrassingly histrionic soundtrack of Jefferson Airplane and the gut-twirling smell of crappy weed and those of you who spent that same time shopping for horn-rimmed glasses and developing your “hard-headed realism” (you’re all hippies to me):

Cleanse yourself a little of those cheap, easy questions with their pre-fab answers that just so happen to make it easier to get your story in under deadline — and do your damned jobs.

2008 Presidential Race Websites

Update: Via Marshall at SplashCast, I have found a site absolutely dedicated to tracking the presidential candidates’ use of social media. (Better them than me.) It’s called techPresident. (By the way, I think we can all just go right ahead and start separating our words again and even capitalizing them correctly. No, seriously. Go ahead. You’ll feel good.)

Also, Marshall has compiled all the YouTube videos by candidates into one channel. Check it.

Update: MySpace has created a page devoted to…well, I don’t know really, but it’s got all the candidates’ MySpace pages in one place.


I have listed below the websites of the principal candidates who’ve either declared their candidacy for the 2008 presidential campaign or started exploratory committees and filed with the Federal Election Commission. I’ve also indicated which candidates are using which social media tools. If a candidate didn’t even bother to create a web site, I did not list them.

According to the FEC, “As of December 31, 2006, 109 individuals had filed a Statement of Candidacy and/ or Statement of Organization for the 2008 Presidential Election.” It goes without saying I have no intention of making this list exhaustive.

Perhaps I shouldn’t have been, but I was surprised that none of the Republicans are so far using any social media (except for a couple of feeds), but the Democrats are making quite a use of it.

There is also a great use made (well, by the Democrats) of shared media sites, like Flickr, Facebook, YouTube, MySpace, LinkedIn and so on. Well, this is the first presidential election since most of these sites were developed so I guess it makes sense. I have no sense, however, regarding what difference it will make. But the presence of social media, that is, the opportunity for conversation, does make politics more intriguing and less obviously pointless to me.

(By my definition, a page with embedded-player video on it is not a “multimedia page” unless it has comment fields or some other way of supporting or extending conversation.)



, , , ,