Do you have a band that needs a name? And an album that needs a title? Full of songs that also need titles? Or perhaps you need to assume an alias or, under an alias, title a book you, or a publishing company mercenary, has written. Well, regardless of the specific nature of your naming needs, you have come to the right place. Enjoy your decades of rock stardom and/or lifetime’s worth of elevated reputation as a public intellectual.

You’re Soaking in It
Mashed Clusters
Ernest and the Borgnines
Borg 9 from Outer Space
Die, Monster
The Soy Maidens
Go Out and Get Another Chair
The Eternal Moist
It’s Raining in My Pants
Flying Wedge
Esau the Verb
Chicks Dig It
Goodbye Eyes
Benign Nodule
Circumambulating the Stupa
Circumambulate the Stupid
Open for Dumbness
Your Secret Weapon’s Gone Now, Earth Boy
Union with the Infinite
Union with the Indefinite
Shooting Smack with the Party Girls
Youth, Inc.
I Would If I Could But I Can’t So I Won’t
Head Full of Bugs
Magically Delicious
Whisky-Voiced Infant
Mother Teresa the Monster
Attention Goatherds
Restrain the Gravel
Chicken Shape
Priapus Squirts
Duodecimal System
Meat Boner
Nice Ass, Hercules
Hog the Monkey
Death Mint
Drunk on Freedom’s Hair
Insecticidal Maniac
Pumpable Meat
Melody is the Meat
Corpus Crispy
Too Many Numbers are the Same
…And His Bowels They Moved Like Thunder
One Mahatma Two
Speeding into the Trees
Subsequent Farmers
Incredibly Breath Mint
The Hot Plastic Tubes Where the Nuts Come Out
Scientific Coating
Floaty Boaty
Amoeba Wore a Hat
Miss Breasts
Have Some Curdling Go On
Alan AyckbournevNerf=Ham Samich/Sammamish
As Pronto as Humanly Possible
Shovin’ in the Meatballs, Chokin’ on the Smoke
Styrofoam for Kenya
Old Fashioned Olfactory Nightmare Factory
All-Guy Party
The Driver Braces for Impact
Easy Calm Pain
Pinhead Initiation
Form of a Question
1st & 10 at the 49
Castrati Aboard Ship
Big Rubbery Dress With My Face On It
Your Face Here
Portable Reality
A Clear Powerful Gel With Deep Cleaning Action
Watch Me Cry While I’m Naked
The Realm of the Unwell
Nice Ass for an Old Lady
Splurge on Blurbs
Yuppy Needs a New Pair of Shoes
Four-Way Buddy Booth
Going Down to Dust
Narrow Roads to the North
Boy Whores of the Adirondacks
The Tongue in the Sink
Scared Great
Isn’t It a Little Early for That?
You Weren’t Supposed To See That
Yachting with Khashogi
Lonesome Britches
The Universe as a Second Language
Talk Dirty to the Earth
The Ghost of Alexander Hamilton Laments
This is Not a Painting of a Pipe
The Mystery of the Uninteresting
Creating Sex Orgies & Pot & Everything
The Secret Manoevre
A Sears of Parallel Lines that Never Insect
Prisoners of Sinus Pain
From Mogadishu to Dushanbe
The Transcendentalist Anthem
Every Schartz in Tarnation
Dismal Vibes
…And His Teeth Were Green With Filth
The Hysterical Giggling of Jon Bon Jovi
Get Thee Behind Me, Santa
Tex Doohickey
Turd Worthington
Weird Thingholder
Col. Wiggletube
Puce Brockner
Col. Fucknugget
Col. Icenogle
Cap’n Tentacles
Señor Bolbo Wincas
The Woman Who Invented Spanish
Floppy Sprinkles
Ariba Q. McHatecake
Zut Queso
Bob Stares & Jack Stammers
Doody Boliba
Tommy Ray Skeeter
Spread, the Deadly Virus
Thurston Twigsmith
Royal Tartar
Rut Lubers
Nimrod Cajones
Bob Stupak

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