- Scorch Vlaamens vs. The Nude Twizzler
- Shameful Johansen vs. The Cruller
- Dead Man’s Tater vs. The Viscount of Hate
- Choo Choo Hesperus vs. The Blancmange
- Parts of Tommy vs. Shadrack the Hat Rack
- The Enumerator of Deficiencies vs. Shaved Konju
- Chami Burglar vs. Scotch Blonkins
- The Travel Agent vs. Prof. Rutger Blofeld
- Chas St. Pommelhorse vs. The French Regent
- Ass Monster Hulsebeck vs. Prancing Eddie Brubaker
- Santander the Sex Offender vs. Lt. Aardvark
- Shambling Sam Sandwichpants vs. Le Clochard
- Vassily Stink vs. Crapunzel
- Eusebius the Crapulent Hierophant vs. Cynthia Whitaker
- Dr. Drunkard vs. Alp Arslan
- Lemuel Punkinpuss vs. The Slightly Effeminate Bulgar
- Slambang McChesney vs. Chugalug Bubatz
- Josefa Maria Garcia vs. The Librarian from El Cajón
- Hizzoner vs. The Greengrocer of Fear and Pain
- The Latchkey Kid vs. Prawncracker
- Henry Cisneros vs. La Pechugona
- 6.023 x 10 to the 23rd vs. Amadeo Avogadro
- Li’l Boots vs. Sheriff Ravi Boxcutter
- Beaverton Slim vs. The Shape
- Cast-Iron Shivwits vs. The Jugged Hare
- The Raw vs. The Cooked
- Lobster St. Stunt Breast vs. Kennesaw Mountain Landis
- The Parbroiled Swede vs. Juliette “The Shimps” Flambeaux
- The Vladivostok Trampler vs. Henry Stampfer
- Michael Sarrazin vs. Pam “The Defiler” Davenport
- Felch Drubin vs. Elspeth “The Sarasota Fish Basket” Chambliss
- Cardinal Crucifix vs. The Housemartin
- The Ipswich Irritant vs. Killy McDeathstab
- The Athabaskan Dithyramb vs. “Terror” Crow
- Bonobo Jones vs. The Jacobson Analyzer
- The Dirty Commander vs. Vivian Nutton
- Rudy Bazooka vs. The Ontario Inappropriate Toucher
- Maroon Climate vs. Kaplax Cheroot
- Reindeer Climax vs. “Cherokee” Blisters
- Diogenes of Sinope vs. The Viennese Malcontent
- Reg Bronco vs. Disco Phalarope
- Aloysius Tickler vs. Kentucky Jim Beefstock
- Oubliette Ratatouille vs. Axelrod Crotchshot
- Cat Bando vs. The Tupelo Rupturer
- Weird L.A. James Naismith vs. Captain Icky
- Puking Polly Patmos vs. Lydia “The Flange” Dollsgirdle
- Punk Rockington vs. Rock Bonkington
- The Chicopee Chafer vs. Reynaldo Insunza
- The Acid Grandee from Casa Grande vs. Larkstongue N. Aspic
- Mustachio J. Shellfish vs. Senator Mashfist
- Oscar Diente vs. Anise Castellano
- Slappy Martinez vs. The Optical Puzzler
- The Beijing Rumpus Squad vs. The Krill
- The Orphan Polymath vs. The Mexican Racist
- Torturin’ Tom Thompson vs. Alberto Roughage
- Vindaloo Singh vs. The Theophage
- Boots O’Hanrahan vs. Ardo “The New Testament Scholar” Aboutiounian
- Speedy Schmuel Yutz vs. Lolita Death
- Fast Eddie al-Zamakhsharî vs. The Jefferson City Shampoo Technician
- Hetch Hetchy vs. Tarshish Buckle
- Friendly Jim vs. The Terror from Moreira
- Nodules Barkley vs. Tiny Tina Lavoisier
- Friar Chumbucket vs. The Certified Public Murderer
- Sketch Groanson vs. Philip S. Laplander
- Appropriate Legend vs. Ezra Von Windmill
- Rueben “The Scholiast” MacIntosh vs. Lazar Bent
- Laborious Frank Stillwell vs. The Chlorine Mullah
- Shadoe Stevens vs. The Robot Pope
- Sir Clive Chuasiriporn vs. Jonathan Livingston Sleestak
- The Guru of Calm vs. The Wiglet
- Hushpuppy Johnson vs. The Disposable Ensign
- Ottoman Clemenceau vs. Pinch Yammers
- Genitale Monsoun vs. Crispus Attacks
- Basement Jack Bronson vs. The Ougadougou Squealer
- Algarve Shibboleth vs. Brainerd Murderson
- Crudité Volta vs. Crusting Phillipott III
- Hotpants Sandoval vs. Bearded Dave
- Juan Doorknob vs. Ralph Smole
- Bergamot Pursuivant vs. Margrave Fernsprecher
- Boris Cripplevitch vs. Väinämöinen Q. Weirdie
- Robinson Guesthouse vs. The Nervous Turk
- Crush Snugglin vs. Spontaneous Grouse
- Bartolo Credenza vs. Nolo Contendere
- Scant Phoneme vs. The Welsh Fondler
- Vicious Sweringen vs. Hellfire Slim Potash
- Uxoricidal Salman Sidle vs. Dr. Crap
- Bolbo Wincas vs. Concentric Blas
- Kid Rodent vs. Smokin’ Joe Wang
- Lance Goggins vs. The Sex-Change Soldier
- Diamond Jim Oxnard vs. The Wangler
- Mad Herbert Thimble vs. Marshal Stabberson
- Alain “The Lesbian Bong” Yamamoto vs. Abruptly Poon
- Wine Snow vs. The Mekong Mangler
- Kid Squeeze-a-Snack vs. Baloney Cannon Perpignan
- Horrifying Stan Washburn vs. The Punchinator
- Hephaestus Dirndl vs. Shasta Bromide
- Aphasia Ladbroke vs. Lady Vagina Codswallop
- Skeeter Chastaine vs. Grandpa Chewface
- Gorgeous Scrote Lipchitz vs. Osama Bin Pederast
- David Lee Rogaine vs. Admiral Agony
