LeWeb3, TechCrunch & Vecosys: What’s All This Brouhaha About Flapping Loaves?


I normally don’t get caught up in the food fights of the Web 2.0-Social Media-Web-based Application-Web 3.0 variety. For one thing, I live in Ashland, Oregon. For another, I know virtually no one in this group. For a third thing, I have sex. However, I think in this case I am uniquely qualified to step in and separate the wheat from the chaff.

With the application of Journalism™ and the vapor-clearing power of Folderism, my patented spiritual-philosophy system, I believe I can set out the events and their implications succinctly.

In early December, SixApart, the blog software and hosting company, sponsored a convention called LeWeb3 (“The TED of the 9th arrondissement” ™) in Paris. Loic Le Meur, blogger and SixApart VP for European operations, changed the program of the convention without prior warning. Instead of James Wong showing off his Pet Shop Boys tattoo and Seth Godin acting out the “One Romantic Evening” episode of Me and the Chimp with a sock puppet and a block of wood, Le Meur instead offered dais-space to Adolph Hitler, Benito Mussolini and Pol Pot who had sex with a roast beef in a kiddie pool while vlogcasting.

Needless to say, people were furious. Some because of the apparent snubbing of Vidkun Quisling and Shoko Asahara, others because they wanted to become millionaires. Among the latter was the estranged son of British pastie-cart mogul Simon Schama, Sam Sethi, co-editor of TechCrunch UK. This publication was a franchise of the better known, richer and more powerful American version, TechCrunch.

Sam posted a commentary on the LeWeb3 “debacle” on TechCrunchUK, entitled, “The Turner Diaries.” In the post, Sethi wrote, “Loic Le Meur is stinky because he is French and he eats frogs and he is a frog.” Le Meur responded with a comment on the post in which he calls Sethi, “English.”

Michael Arrington, America’s reigning king of chimp porn and publisher of TechCrunch, sent Sethi a digital photograph of a crap in a shoebox and said, “This is your mom!” Sethi responded by wifi-ing a wiki to an RSS feed. Or something. I don’t know. Anyway, then he stole a million dollars from Arrington and was a millionaire. Then, he made another post on TechCrunch UK in which he published the Skype addresses of Le Meur’s seven favorite Polish mistresses. Then Arrington fired him and Arrington and Le Meur hugged and cried.

I trust that through the use of Folderism and the application of Journalism ™, I have made an emotionally-charged and confusing situation a great deal more interesting.

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